Shopping list

So, what are we looking for? A narrowboat obviously, around 55-60 feet long so that it can ‘go anywhere’ on the canal system. I don’t think we’ll be straying too far but it should help to sell it when the time comes. Cruiser stern, I don’t care what they say about them not being traditional I want the engine to be accessible and the fumes outside.
The front will be the sitting area with all mod cons, followed by some kind of double bed arrangement which will presumably need putting up at night & taking down in the morning, just like our old bedsit days in Hampton. Kitchen next with the usual modernities, although I’m not sure about a washing machine – our current one has died & I’ve
quite taken to the weekly laundrette visit. A mad hour gets everything out of the way & we avoid the seven day a week washing routine we had before. We’ll see. The functional bit next, toilet & bath or shower, but most importantly it has to be walk-through. I can’t abide the ‘train carriage’ effect on some boats with the rooms off to one side & a tiny corridor bypassing it. We saw one once that had maximized the bathroom space by forcing you to walk sideways past the toilet door, not good & very claustrophobic. Finish off with a fixed two berth room at the back end for the girls and a back door out to the rear. Sorry, stern – must start getting the terminology correct. And somehow it has to be not twee – horse brasses are absolutely banned.

Outside can be any colour because we’re going to paint it, and I don’t care how silly the name is because we’ll rename it ‘moorjoy’. Note the lower case ‘m’, I can’t get past my John Cooper Clarke phase. Apparently renaming a boat is a bit frowned upon if you’re superstitious (thankfully we’re not) but in reality is simply a case of telling the insurers, all the legalities tie to the registration number. Bow thrusters definitely because I can’t see how else we’ll be able to get the front (or ‘bow’ to those in the know) away from the mooring, and I’ll have to investigate those cratch things.

Technology I’ve briefly mentioned elsewhere, but I’m thinking 24″ iMac on the wall for main computing & TV. They come with remote controls nowadays & linked with one of the EyeTV range, a Sky box & wireless keyboard & mouse should cover most needs. We’ll lose the Sky+ functionality because tvtv.co.uk can’t control that which is a bit of a bummer but we’ll have to see how it goes. Probably a laptop for portability & to keep one foot in PC-land, the existing 17″ LCD TV in the second bedroom. I’m also hoping that 21st Century marinas have wireless internet. If not I’ll maybe nick it from a stray signal. There is a Starbucks which might be in range …

There’s probably a load more boat-type things I should be worrying about, but ignorance is bliss.