Somebody To Love by Ramones
Iona School
Victoria Centre
National Ice CentreBloody hell. For a something that’s supposed to be relaxing taking a
narrowboat out for five hours when you haven’t driven one since a
two-day course a year ago is one stressful activity. It all started
out so well, what with spending our first night on the boat & happily
watching Men In Black as a family on DVD with a bottle of wine, and
waking on Saturday to be moved to our permanent mooring by Matt. The
problem was we were running out of excuses to prevent us from going
anywhere; the batteries were charged, we could work the power & the
toilet and above all everything was clean. Since actually moving was
becoming a bit of an issue I took the decision that we weren’t going
to get a better day to wet our toes (metaphorically, I hoped) since
the sun was shining & there was no wind to speak of. The first hurdle
was getting past the other boats in the marina because the way out was
a bit tight. That went quite well, but I was aware all the time that
the ‘gate’ to the canal was extremely narrow. I had a plan though -
pick my moment, end up at right angles in the canal and spin left.
Head for the Beeston winding hole (that’s win-ding, apparently, not
wine-ding) about 20 minutes away and turn round. Take a deep breath,
back to the marina and a well earned beer. If only. The first bit went
fine, I got out of the marina without sinking or even hitting anything
and positioned reasonably well to turn left. Except I forgot that the
front of the boat wasn’t at the the roof that I could see but about
five feet in front of that, so there were a few distressed campers
wondering what the hell I was doing when I crashed in to the opposite
shore with a much louder ‘crunch’ that I would have liked. Which left
me blocking the canal, not knowing what to do and being stared at by
an assortment of boaters, camper & drinkers (there would be a pub on
the corner, wouldn’t there?) as I discovered what may well become the
bane of my life. People that want to help. Left to my own devices I
would have managed OK, but in the midst of my distress a number of
people took pity on me and leapt to my assistance. Looking back it was
noticeable that it was non-boaters that felt the need to act, anyone
on the water just shook their heads with a wry look on their faces &
left me to it. Been there, done that, possibly. One guy pushed the
starboard bow & a woman with a couple of kids camping on the opposite
shore stood expectantly at the bows asking which way I was going (oh,
the ignominy – no-one could even tell what I was trying to do). In a
panic I opted for the easiest move from where I was, turning right.
Which meant not an easy 40 minutes with one turnaround but two locks,
a bitch of a right turn when I’d attempted it with Ray a year ago and
the River Trent. Not forgetting the return journey. The very thought
of it leads me to the rest of my beer & a warm bed. More tomorrow.
We’ve been here a month now, and I find the sound of a main road, complete with the occasional police siren, much more comforting than silence punctuated by the local rook population. I guess that harks back to our first days together in Hounslow, which were far from quiet, & a lot of fun.
I guess we’re just not the country type; I like roads, traffic, pubs within walking distance and corner shops I don’t have to drive to when I need a pint of milk.
You can take the boy out of the city, but never the city out of the boy. Or something.
So, the necessary 3 systems have been ‘upgradated’ and a nice gentleman is able to tell me that the mobile number that’s associated with my account isn’t the one that I’m using. This is odd since all the family mobiles are Orange & this is our first foray into 3 territory. A root around the carrier bag reveals a package with a ‘Planet 3 pay as you go sim’ within it. This appears to have the right number & a quick sim swap (finally) gives us a working browser. Why I should need that rather than the sim that came with the modem no-one can tell me, but now I just want to get off the phone and browse. Gmail here I come …
As a spooky aside the wrong sim had the same sequence of numbers within it as Debs’s existing Orange mobile. What are the odds, eh? My fag packet’s not up to to it, but if only we could hit those odds with the lottery.
Still no good, but as a consolation ‘this is very unusual’. I now need to check my profile settings with a department that works 24×7 but their systems are ‘undergoing upgradation’ so can I call back tomorrow morning? I’m not holding out any great hopes, but my return options are slipping away.
Still doesn’t work, apparently my account is ‘being commissioned’ and should be with me within two hours. Bugger.
Vodafone have loads of posters up advertising 3G ‘mobile broadband’. This sounds useful, especially since BT have yet to connect a phone line at the new place & it may well mean that we’ll be connected while we’re in the marina & out & about. Google tells me that I can buy a USB modem for between nothing & £79, pay £15 or £25 a month for plans between 12 & 24 months & download limits of 3 or 5GB. Not wishing to commit for too long I opt for a £79 modem & 3GB & £15 a month for 12 months only to be told that 3 have just brought out a 12 month contract for £15 a month, 3GB download limit & a free modem. Sold – all I have to do is plug it in when I get home & it will work. I support computer systems for a living so know how likely that is, but ever the optimist I spend the afternoon touching my shiny new USB stick & thinking how pleased Debs will be when I present her with a Google-enabled laptop. No surprises, it didn’t work. The helpline breaks the good news that the account takes 24 hours to become activated, which immediately eats a third of my 72 hour ‘take it back if you’ve got no coverage’ promise.
I signed the Official Secrets Act today. I don’t feel like a hippy any more.
I’ve just managed to get back into my email & on 24th May while many other things were happening I received an email prompting me to renew the moorjoy domain. That means it’s been one full year since we started down this road so it seems like a good time to review where we are and where we wanted to be.
One year ago we were feeling the pressure & the need to somehow ‘get out’; the main pressure to remove was the house, with its attendant commuting, mortgage and upkeep. Rather than simply move we thought living on a boat would be a good idea since it was something we’ve wanted to do for some time and would give us breathing space and an adventure. Along with that I’d get a new toy and would have to solve all sorts of IT & media issues. I’d get to buy a new Mac & install all sorts of fun infrastructure while sticking two fingers up at ‘The Man’. I naively thought that we’d just ‘sell the house’, free up the cash & buy a boat to live on with enough time before the kids moved school to spend a year afloat before taking whatever the next step was.
The reality of course was somewhat different; It took nine months to sell the house & in the current climate I’d say we were lucky to manage that. We’re free of the house and the commute, and are currently in a ‘limbo’ situation of being primarily land based with the floating option at weekends & maybe one night during the week.
